What I Expected When I Was Expecting

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What I Expected When I Was Expecting

My countdown to miracle ...

1st Month
In a jiffy.

Like most pregnant women, my first four weeks went by in a jiffy. So running & playing around with friends’ toddlers and impeding change in eating & sleeping habits did happen with no caution that a tiny new being has sojourned inside me. This was, after all, not a planned pregnancy. (Yeah-huh! And that helped assuage my guilt!) It has only been a little over a month since our Europe honeymoon. Was too preoccupied gazing at our wedding photos & video and recounting beautiful memories. Who would have thought I’d be on my way? Well, I probably just did not expect I would be expecting this time soon.

2nd Month
Think pink.

A 5-day miss of my period urged me and my husband to get that home pregnancy test and see for ourselves. The few minutes wait for the line to appear seemed like an eternity for us ... one thousand and one, one thousand and two, one thousand and three ... Alas! It came back p-o-s-i-t-i-v-e! Were we in for a truly, truly pleasant surprise! It felt sooo so! Feeling was indescribable. Albeit I trusted the 99% accurate claim of the product, we immediately scheduled for blood test to confirm the home test that left an indelible “pink line” in my mind. (Pink, pink, pink, think pink!) Again, the few days wait for the result seemed forever. (Must I get used to waiting, I thought, because if I really am pregnant the bun in the oven is 8 more months in the making!) Then the wait was over ... the findings handed to us was overwhelming and overpowering. We’re having a baby! In the next couple of months, we’re in for a beautiful joyride. Thank heavens!

3rd Month
Kid under construction.

Now the news has finally sunk in. I am no longer a baby (at least in my partner’s eyes) – I now am having a baby. So anxieties and fears have started to creep within me. Having a kid under construction and more than 3000 miles away from our families was a hurdle that initially put me in panic mode. Who do I turn to for serious (and silly) pregnancy questions? I was in a journey with a little bit of this and that as my armour. As this was my first pregnancy, I was equipped with zilch knowledge on prenatal care. Having no other option, I braced myself physically and intellectually with the guide of the book What To Expect When You Are Expecting. Beyond doubt, it is a mother’s reassuring words and a doctor’s expert advice carefully and completely scribbled down in 500 pages. And then of course I started regularly seeking for an obstetrician’s counsel. But it was not enough. I renewed my faith and filled my days with prayers. Have my heart and soul been empty with His words, feeding my mind with wisdom would be futile.

4th Month
New resident.

As my uterus continued to expand to give more room for its new resident – making my condition more and more conspicuous - I made the announcement at work, changed my wardrobe and begun scouting for baby items. Pregnancy news always brings well wishes from peers even strangers. So breaking the news at work was not a daunting task. But realizing I would be on maternity leave without pay was a tad bit depressing. The only good thing about it is that I and my pregnant half have enough time to save for the “rainy days” -- my being pregnant has taught me to be a more optimistic individual. Not being able to squeeze into my small-sized blouses or button my jeans was something I anticipated with excitement. I embarked on a spending spree for a few pieces. However, accepting offers of used maternity clothes and raiding my husband’s closet for oversized T-shirts and running shorts proved to be a more brilliant idea. I also started making a to-buy list for my little godsend. A list I never thought would be longer than my weekly grocery list! Whoa!

5th Month
10 fingers, 10 toes & 1 penis.

Via the ultrasound, learning that everything about our baby is great - the brain, heart, arms and legs brought immense joy in me and my husband. 10 little fingers .. 10 little toes .. and a penis! It’s a boy! Hurray! We were so delighted because in our hearts we both wished for a little man. We wanted our eldest to be a boy who we will raise to be a kind-hearted and God-fearing man. Yet unborn, we have so many dreams for him. From how his playroom will be decorated (tint of reds and blues will coat his walls and bed & cars and trucks and superhero busts will fill his drawers) to how he will call us (the sound of “mama and papa” appeals to us more) to how we will teach and discipline him (a strong faith in God and respect for others are mutually non-negotiable moral values). Now that we know it’s a HE we are to complete one task: The Name Game!

6th Month
Home sweet home.

Giving up a past lifestyle to replace with a healthier one is certainly not something new to expectant mums and dads. Almost always they are more than willing to do that. Anything actually for the baby! As for us, we had to give up more than that. Our spending habits had to be monitored strictly for we decided to move to a bigger home – a home sweet home little bub can call his own. It is our desire to provide our son a home away from the hustle and bustle of city life – where he could enjoy pedaling a bicycle outside or take pleasure in throwing balls with playmates in the neighbourhood or relish time on slides and swings at the park (or a whole gamut of other activities he may plausibly not experience at our old place in his toddlerhood). So when mortgage dues start coming in, we know we have more reasons to be happy.

7th Month
MYOB: Mind your own belly.

I have learned that surviving pregnancy with some semblance of sanity would require a whole lot more than good exercise and good eating habits. Everyone – from in-laws and friends to complete strangers – seems to have a whole litany of advice. Mostly are old wives’ tales that are obviously ridiculous and nonsense. The largely popular one is associating food cravings with how your baby would look like. How can eating apples or cherries make your baby’s cheeks soft and red? And how can longing for grapes cause your baby’s skin to be olive? This only elicits laugh from medical professionals. Also, inevitable comments on how you look and do things can also be offensive and push you to scream foul. Is it really genuine concern? Or plain babble? Whatever. Give them a MYOB look! Never let words ruin your day. In one ear and out the other should go those words and the sickening endless comparison between their pregnancies and yours. Some are just simply annoying. The only way to deal with these is keep a mindset that every pregnancy and every woman is different. What others had experienced or are experiencing may be totally diverse from what you are going through. With this in mind, you are not inviting any added tension to your already tension-filled mind.

8th Month
Open arms.

Pregnancy can really be a jarring experience to someone who focuses on the inconvenience it entails and thinks not of the aftermath. Imagine mornings of nausea (btw, morning sickness is a misnomer – don’t be deceived!) and evenings of breathing difficulty. Imagine days and nights of repeated toilet breaks, nagging backaches, pesky heartburn, serious pelvic pressure, itchy abdomen, hearty appetite – all these together -- who on earth would love to live a life like that? I wouldn’t. But with a picture in mind of the little bundle of joy whom I will be holding and kissing soon – I will welcome pain with open arms.

9th Month
2 becomes 3.

Finally! The waiting will finally be over. As the end of 9 months draws near – I am filled with mixed emotions. Will he look like his father? (I hope so!) Will he recognise my voice? (Other than the sound of my heartbeat and stomach grumblings, my voice soothed him whilst inside.) Will he be comforted by my magic touch? (Or only grams have that?) Such thoughts are always accompanied with a speeding up of my heartbeat. So as I prepare to pack away my maternity clothes and fill an empty room with tiny garments (I wonder how can undersized clothing be so pricey?) and cuddly teddies (though they may appear like scarecrow to newborns) – I also have braced myself for days to become shorter and nights longer. I am more than ready to face my new challenging role when 2 becomes 3 because I know I am not alone, much thanks to my ever-loving husband.

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"If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family." -- Unknown --

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