Should You or Should You Not Tell Kids About Santa?

Should You or Should You Not Tell Kids About Santa?

Can Christmas be fun and magical without Santa Claus?

Many years back I toyed with the thought of how is it like to meet Santa Claus. To have a chat with him and ask him so many things.

1. How far is North Pole from Manila?
2. Do you know Superman? He flies and is in red cape!

3. Do you have kids? Do they get bigger presents?
4. Do you go Christmas shopping too? Who helps you wrap gifts?
5. Can you fit down the chimney?
6. No presents for kids who have been bad, is that true? Is not eating veggies considered bad?
7. Are you rich? Or super rich? Or superduper rich? Or you just do magic?
8. Can I just ask you to make my dad work here and not overseas?
9. How are you able to make it to all houses in one night?
10. Can I keep one of your reindeers? My dog Pampoo needs a companion.

My curious mind had more to ask but he might think I am silly or he might not have more than 10 minutes to spare for a child like me, I thought.

For a few years I wondered about Santa’s whereabouts and his being. All what TV told kids about him was that he is a white-haired and -bearded fat guy who make children (not the naughty ones) happy by giving Christmas presents. And that he is very known for his jolly laughter Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho.

One or two Christmases after I began snooping about this well-loved man, I finally found the answers to all my questions. Naaah, not from my parents! But from playmates who for no reason at all just wanted to spill the beans. Did it spoil the fun of Christmas? For me, it somehow did! I did not play with them for a week! For a sevenner or younger yes it could somehow spoil the spirit of the holiday. Because it no longer is a mystery! You know when you're trying to solve something like a puzzle or a math brainteaser and when you finally crack it – you lose interest in the subject? Ditto with a toddler. So how should parents prepare for this? Or an even more troubling question – should parents tell their kids outright that this gift-giver is just a myth?

As a parent or parent-to-be, should you or should you not?

(The pro-Santa me says) Santa Claus is supposedly a magical childhood experience. For some it is believed to enrich the lives of children. That even when years have gone by, the excitement and anticipation of opening his gifts would always be cherished and passed on to the next generation. The joy that the Santa concept brings is extremely rare. Memories of it would linger forever in one's heart.

(The anti-Santa me says) Others think this seemingly enchanting childhood fantasy is in reality cloaked with lies, threats and promises of rewards to control children. Making kids believe that the horizontally challenged man from North Pole really exists may not be regarded as a malicious deception, but it is, nevertheless, a lie. A kid behaves when reminded Santa sees him when he's sleeping and knows when he's awake. And when they discover the truth they experience sadness, regrets and somehow a sense of betrayal.

So I ask again, should you or should you not?

(The pro-Santa me says) Some may have been told that Santa was real just like the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. They are both make-believe but not much fuss has been raised about it. The Easter Bunny tradition encourages children to build brightly colored nests, often out of caps and bonnets,and if the children had been good, the Bunny would lay brightly colored eggs in the nest. Rewarding good deeds has always been an effective tool of rearing a child. Then there is the imaginary concept of the Tooth Fairy who gives a child a gift in exchange for a tooth that has come out. This is also deemed as one of the childhood's greatest pleasures where the little ones leave a tooth under their pillow for the fairy to take or exchange for goods or money while they sleep. It wouldn't hurt to give these young ones some magic to believe in until they get to a certain age, right?

(The anti-Santa me says) The fairy, the rabbit and the red-suited man – if parents lead children to believe they are real and later debunk their existence, do you think kids would still believe them about the story of Jesus? There is a sensitive issue of trust that could possibly be kaput here. The boy who cried wolf - do I need to elaborate?

Honestly, I am torn between recreating my beautiful childhood fantasy about Santa Claus for my son's happiness and telling him upfront that it is just all myth. A child’s trust and happiness is at stake. Each child is different. A neighbor's toddler may not suffer the disillusionment that others have with the Santa myth. But he may be set up for disappointment and self-doubt seeing his buddy got flashy transformers that he also wanted that is why he tried to be a good boy. How can this be avoided? At this point, I am clueless. My husband and I still have ample time to make a decision on this matter until our 11-month old David learns how to say the word "Santa".

What about you, should you or should you not?

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The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.-Unknown

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Random Thoughts of a Baby

Random Thoughts of a Baby

Have you ever wondered how and what babies think? More matured than what we think they are? Possibly. They just can’t say it in words or act on it. Give them a couple of months more and you’ll be surprised how smart they can get!

I wonder why Papa and Mama give each other an “it-is-your-turn” look when nappy starts smelling…

I wonder why people around me talk to me as if they understand me...

I wonder how Papa and Mama will feel when they’re forced to wear Bumble Bee and Lady Bug costume…

I wonder who are those little girls who come running to me just to kiss me and touch me and hug me …

I wonder why they rush to my rescue every time I cry with or without tears…

I wonder why Papa and Mama tiptoe at the sight of me lying in my cot…

I wonder why my plate and glass and utensils are different from theirs…

I wonder why I hear buzzing sounds of “shhhh” and “shhhh” as soon as I close my eyes…

I wonder why Mama puts on her headset when I start banging my toys together…

I wonder where are those people who volunteer to cuddle and embrace me outdoors, I need them at 2 in the morning…

I wonder why Mama always almost looks sickened every time she changes my nappy with poo...

I wonder why things start disappearing that there is nothing I can grab anymore…

I wonder why every time I grasp onto something Papa is always on the lookout…

I wonder what good does it get to keep me belted on my car seat, pram, portable chair & rocker…

I wonder what these hard little things sticking out through my gums, I’ve got 6 of those now…

I wonder how that soft thingy makes me sleepy when inserted into my ear…

I wonder why every time I wake up I find my finger & toe nails shorter than they were…

I wonder when will I be able to cross over my playpen because I feel trapped in here…

I wonder when I can play with Papa’s notebook without him shoving my hands…

I wonder who is that old lady taking care of me when Papa and Mama go to work…

I wonder why bath time is not everyday…

I wonder what those cuddly bears are doing in my cot, I am running out of space…

I wonder why I often get forced to drink milk or eat food when I am neither thirsty nor hungry…

I wonder why Mama freaks out when I make a sudden pee burst while she changes my nappy…

I wonder why Papa and Mama suddenly tone down their voices when they see me looking and listening to them…

I wonder when I can get myself out of the pram without anybody’s help…

I wonder why I am restricted to come closer to the huge tree with lights and balls around it (must be the forbidden tree) inside the house…

I wonder why people gather around me and take turns in cradling me in their arms…

I wonder why pictures of me are everywhere in Papa and Mama’s room…

I wonder why no matter how I say it they never understand me…

I wonder why they seem to celebrate my learning of new things like giving a high five and doing close-open…

I wonder which is my real name: Pogi or David…




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A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house.
-- Milwaukee Journal
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Crying Without Tears

Crying Without Tears

How can someone so little be so demanding and so clever? Have these babies taken acting classes inside their mother’s wombs? Just watch them cry without tears and even if the drama seems not convincing enough, we tend to drop what is in our hands and come running to them! True: What baby wants baby gets!

When he is sleepy and cannot get himself to sleep he wants me to rock him until he dozes off else he cries (without a tear).

When he is asleep he wants no noise else he cries (without a tear).

When he wakes up he wants to see me by his side ready for embraces else he cries (without a tear).

When he is on his walker he wants me to be around to help him when he gets stuck in one corner else he cries (without a tear).

When he is inside his playpen he wants me to play with him else he cries (without a tear).

When his toys are not within his reach he wants me to give them to him else he cries (without a tear).

When he starts crawling he does not want anything blocking his way else he cries (without a tear).

When he struggles to sit independently and falls over he wants a little help from me else he cries (without a tear).

When he takes a bath he does not want me to hold his hand so he can play with the water else he cries (without a tear).

When he fancies something and I take it away from him he wants me to give it back or replace it with another amusing stuff else he cries (without a tear).

When he is hungry he wants me to hand him his milk bottle in a blink of an eye else he cries (without a tear).

When he is being fed he wants spoonful of solids one after another else he cries (without a tear).

When he utters his two-syllable words he wants me to listen and talk to him as if I understand him else he cries (without a tear).

When he is cold he wants me to wrap him in my arms else he cries (without a tear).

When he is warm he wants me to switch on the AC else he cries (without a tear).

When his nappy is soiled he wants me to change it soon and quick else he cries (without a tear).

When he yells he wants to get my attention and when he fails to he cries (without a tear).

When he needs time alone he wants me not to shower him kisses and hugs else he cries (without a tear).

When he is unwell he wants more attention from me else he cries (without a tear).

When he hits his head against the cot rails or the bed headboard he wants me to console him and say the rails and headboard should be removed else he cries (without a tear).

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A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother

-- Mark Twain

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Inside a Father’s Heart

Inside a Father’s Heart

Listen to the heart beat of a father ... it beats for his child.
I listened to my father's and my husband's ...

The heart desires his little man appreciates what he has and gripes not for what he doesn’t.
The heart desires his little man blesses others with the blessings he receives.
The heart desires his little man challenges himself to become a better individual.
The heart desires his little man discerns that prosperity is his birthright.
The heart desires his little man enjoys childhood with caring human beings around to prepare him as he steps into adulthood.
The heart desires his little man faces his own battle courageously.
The heart desires his little man grows up to be responsible for his own actions.

The heart desires his little man humbles himself in every success or victory he achieves.

The heart desires his little man inspires others by the passion he has for his craft
The heart desires his little man judges situation, people and actions fairly and justly.
The heart desires his little man keeps his wife and children loved and protected the way his father did.
The heart desires his little man learns lessons from the mistakes of his parents.
The heart desires his little man marries at the right age and raises a family of his own in a Godly environment.

The heart desires his little man nurtures whatever gift he is bequeathed with.
The heart desires his little man opens his heart for the needy.
The heart desires his little man plans for a future choosing financial freedom over job security.
The heart desires his little man quits games of avarice and egocentricity even before they start.
The heart desires his little man realizes the significance of education and works hard to finish a degree.
The heart desires his little man speaks words of wisdom.

The heart desires his little man thinks only of what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy and pleasing to God.
The heart desires his little man understands defeat and rejection are a part of life and develops the right attitude towards unexpected circumstances.
The heart desires his little man veers his back on what is taboo in the society
The heart desires his little man x-es unhealthy habits.
The heart desires his little man yearns for knowledge and necessary skills to lead and live a great life.
The heart desires his little man works for excellence in everything and anything he does.
The heart desires his little man zooms in on the essential things in life which are invisible to the naked eye.

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You will travel far, my little Kal-El, but we will never leave you-even in the face of our deaths. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father. And the father, the son.
-- Jor-El
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Babyology

B A B Y O L O G Y

I personally define Babyology as the study of anything that has to do with babies.

Knowledge seekers of this field are usually parents or parents-to-be.

As a first time mum, I anticipated decorating my bub’s nursery and choosing baby items to fulfil his indoor and outdoor needs with a great deal of zest. I need neither expertise in interior design nor impeccable taste in fashion or colour harmony – how could I possibly go wrong with that? That was what I thought.

And then as I began my mommyhood journey I suddenly realised that that exciting task could probably be just the tip of the iceberg. Superficial. There’s definitely more to it. Yes indeed it is fun and easy to pick a theme for the cot linens, to choose a stylish pram or to buy a vibrantly hued walker from the shop. But is that all a parent has to consider for the many purchases she has to make for her kiddo?

For me, there is quite a number of things to be concerned about before deciding to bring home baby gears and gadgets. Some of my bubba’s essential stuff has been sitting long in the storage room even before the stork delivered my firstborn. All of them (and my succeeding purchases) have passed (and should pass) most (if not all) standards my husband and I initially set. Here goes our standards checklist:

1. Item Price. 2. Child’s Safety 3. Child’s Comfort. 4. Item Portability. 5. Item Appearance.

Humbly I must say I am no perfect mum when it comes to giving tangible things to my son. At times I would compromise # 3 with # 1 (it occasionally depends on what’s in the pay check man!), or prioritise # 4 more than # 3, or I would let go of nearly all when pleased with # 5 (am sure I am not alone here). But I can aver that if at times I fail to provide my son David the best I do try to make up in other ways. Here I noted the Top 12 baby equipments that literally fill a room in our house. Some of which are our own purchases and some are presents from great friends. These are the items you might want to consider having for your little angel or buying for a friend who's having one soon.

Cot

They say when choosing a cot for your little one it is important to make sure that it will not be a likely death trap but a safe haven. True. They say that the more expensive the item is the better. Not always true. I bought David’s white wooden cot from an online shop. Its price is one third the usual price range of branded cots which is between 500 and 700$. Yes, the wood may not be as sturdy as the more expensive crib but hey an infant cannot be as heavy as a sack of rice right? And if you fret about it being easily broken because of incessant jumping of your little junior – hmmm … don’t you think it isn’t a good idea anymore to cage your seemingly strong little Hulk Hogan? (Buy him a jumping castle instead!) That’s just my 2 cents worth. That cot that I have has got 2 drawers where I place his towels and blankets. The casters are a must too! I could effortlessly bring the cot closer to our bed on nights my husband and I prefer to have the bed on our own.

Rocker (Fisher Price Rocker)

Swings, bouncers, jumpers and rockers – I first wondered: what are these for? In the olden time parents never had to bother buying any of these. How fortunate of them? Naah! My son few weeks after his birth has truly found much comfort in staying on his rocker. It has a removable toy bar and battery operated vibrations to settle him to sleep (often effective I tell you). This can be adjusted to a rocker or stationary position. And with the safety harness, not only bub is at peace but also moi!

Walker (Love n Care Walker)

This is so far the most recent purchase we made for our baby. When is actually the best time to buy one? I guess when the baby can already hold his head up and sit. A baby needs to roll, crawl, sit and play on the floor in order to reach her developmental milestones. Putting him on a walker too soon might pose danger or too much may even delay development slightly. The walker my other half picked is probably a small-sized one. Meaning it can still fit in a narrow aisle. It is a good choice if your home does not have big space for the tot to loiter around – he might just get stuck in one corner because there is no where else to move to. The design of the walker is apparently a dad’s preference! Look at the wheels! I gave in to his fondness because my “what-if-the-next-baby-is-a-girl” plea fell to deaf ears!

Change Table

A must in every nursery. Ours has a removable bath tub (as baby grows bigger we have an option to place it on a bigger bath tub), storage compartments (which make bath paraphernalia organised and within reach) , padded and wipeable change pad with safety harness (poo and pee mess is no hassle cleaning!) and lockable castors (trips to bath and bed rooms become easier ). This might be more expensive than what you expect but hey, why not wait for the sale season? We did!

Play Pen (Jolly Versatile Playpen)

Now that my son is becoming more and more mobile as days pass by, I couldn’t think of other than a play pen to confine him in whilst I do my chores (that unsurprisingly never run out). Babies who roll over and crawl are the ones who make parents ask “where is baby?” in absolute panic. So I can be a kitchen warrior, a couch potato, or a web surfer knowing that my fearless little explorer is safe amusing himself with cuddly toys around him inside the pen. The colourful “cell” is made of plastic and is so secure and stable. I usually act as my son’s inmate with my notebook on my lap watching GMA shows as I lull him to sleep. If you wish to make the play area bigger, extensions are also available.

Portable Chair

Portability is one big factor considered by any shopper like me. If I can possibly get something that is either small or foldable to bring anywhere – I am generous to give the item a score of 10! David’s portable chair can be used in SML dining space. Good eh? What’s even better is that we bring this chair almost anywhere we go. Sunday service at Church or tea party at a friend’s place. It is stable and can be placed on the floor. It is secure and can be strapped to just about any chair (or even small side table). Seat is wipeable, the height has three adjustments and recline has three position where the tray stays level. A real space saver! (Although I must admit it would be in the next months that he will get to use this more often because he still prefers eating solids and drinking milk lying down.)

Baby Seat (Bumbo Baby Seat)

There is car seat, baby capsule, high chair … and now baby seat? How many seats should a baby’s bum touch before he reaches adolescence? Well, at least there is no Lazy Boy for babies! This baby seat provides a well-fitting and cozy environment for my little one. Slowly he learns how to sit independently in an upright position. Material is soft and durable, portable and easy to clean.

Baby Carrier (Baby Bjorn Carrier)

In a pram-friendly planet, one should be aware that (really) not every single place in town is pram-friendly. Take the baby with you and tour the Blue Mountains or go for a walk at the Manly shore – you would realise bringing the ever useful stroller to these places isn’t a brilliant idea at all. So that’s where a baby carrier comes to the rescue. My son’s carrier has been a great substitute for a pram in some occasions. Places that are hill-y or where lift is nonexistent. I actually don’t just use it outdoors. While cooking or preparing dinner, while hanging the laundry clothes or folding the sun-dried clothes. Wherever possible, I put him in and off we go. With this carrier, having my child so close to me leaves a very good feeling to both of us. Knowing he is secure and being hands-free, what more can I ask for? And for him snuggling close to Mama or Papa is enough to forget about crying at least for the time being.

Car Seat (Go Safe Car Seat)

A child's age and weight is very important in choosing the right car seat. We had a capsule that baby used from birth until he was three months old. Then we shifted to the longer-lasting car seat which can be rearward or forward facing. We got one that is easy to install and has got harness which is easy to clip. The padding proves to make baby feel so comfortable.

Playgym (Tiny Love Gymini)

Even if I want to play and cuddle David all the time it is indeed a sad fact that I cannot. So at moments I am no supermum, little baby can spend playful times on his coloured comfy play mat. Here, he is in a self-contained world of stimulation for his initial physical, sensory and emotional development. Whether on his tummy or back, this play gym can surely amuse him and attract his curiosity. Comes complete with lights & music, mirror, hanging toys – this foldable playground is without a doubt a mum’s favourite!

Pram (Streelcraft Pram)

Since this will be in service from birth until couple of years later (and most probably be handed down to baby's sibling) it certainly is significant to do research first before swiping that plastic card for this big purchase. We did product reviews for the pros and cons of almost every type and brand of a stroller. (One r-e-a-l tough task!) We found one that passed our standard checklist criteria. Is it all-weather purpose? Passed. Is it easy to manoeuvre? Passed. Is it durable? Passed. Is it comforting for babies? Passed. Is it reasonably priced? Passed. Does it fit the car boot? Passed. (But the front wheel needs to be removed. I guess the solution is to upgrade the sedan to a “pathfinder”. Now that is wishful thinking!)

Baby Appliance - Food Machine (Bebedelice)

Who would ever think babies have their own kitchen appliance? I never did until I got one as a present! This multifunctional baby appliance helps parents efficiently prepare fresh and nutritious food everyday. How? It cooks and steams. The food’s (fruits, veg, meat or fish) natural vitamins and minerals are preserved with the moderate steaming purpose. Whatever baby ingredients you have chuck them in for the right consistency! It warms bottles or jars. Use this when little bubba prefers warm food or milk. It sterilises bottles. It defrosts frozen food. Pre-prepared is safely thawed in few minutes. Perfect for home or out-of-town use.

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Every baby needs a lap. ~Henry Robin
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Ohhh-lympic Gold Achievements of a Baby

Ohhh-lympic Gold Achievements of a Baby


When he first flashed smiles it’s as if his smile was as big as American Michael Phelps’ grin with his 8 gold medals in tow.

When he first played with his feet it’s as if he could already stand and run and break the 200-meter world record of Jamaican Usain Bolt.

When he first bounced by supporting the weight on his legs it’s as if I saw a high jump event champion in the person of Russian Silnov Andrey.

When he first lifted and held his milk bottle it’s as if he would be a good contender for Korea’s weightlifter Jaehyouk Sa.

When he first waved his arms when an object is brought right in front of him it’s as if the French powerhouse Pillet, Sanson and Lopez have picked him to be part of their fencing team.

When he first responded to my presence and voice by kicking it’s as if he has defeated Judo expert and Japan’s pride Masato Uchishiba.

When he first moved his legs in the air in the act of cycling while lying flat on his back it’s as if he could win the road race as Spain’s Samuel Sanchez comes second.

When he first reached out, grabbed and threw an object I screamed loud as if I was one of the Slovenians cheering for Primoz Kozmus for an excellent hammer throw.

When he first moved objects from one hand to the other it’s as if he has the basketball prowess of LA hero Kobe Bryant.

When he first resisted my kisses and snuggles it’s as if he was practicing defense for a much-awaited super heavy bout with Italian boxing king Roberto Cammarelle.

When he first played with water while on the bath tub it’s as if career is over for Great Britain’s Brabants and Ainslie of the kayak, canoe and sailing dream teams.

When he first aimed to catch his dad’s AFL ball it’s as if he would be a good match for Argentina’s footballer team led by Nicolas Pareja.

When he first showed how baby push ups are done it’s as if he was telling me what the Australian rowers, Crawshay and Brennan, needed to do to strengthen their arm and chest muscles.

When he first learned to roll over it’s as if he could conquer multiple sports in one go like German Jan Frodeno in a triathlon event.

When he first held tightly to his dad’s table tennis paddle it’s as if Lin Ma of China would be ready to bring home a silver.

When he first hugged his horsey-horsey toy it’s as if I saw an equestrian, Dutch Anky van Grunsven, in the making.

When he first uttered his nowhere-present-in-the-dictionary words (kuykuykuykuykoy and eymama) it’s as if he was ready to deliver his triumphant Olympic speech.

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No one knows how children will turn out; a great tree often springs from a tender plant.

-- Norwegian proverb

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Little Sacrifices For My Little One

Little Sacrifices For My Little One

These little sacrifices are nothing compared to the big joy my little one brings big time.

Gone are the days of clutching tiny and stylish purse or bag.
Baby David’s feeding bottles and dummies and nappies and wipes and change mat and bibs and extra garments should all fit in a tote!

Gone are the days of movie watching with my husband.
A date night with him and the Dark Knight became a reality. Thanks to my mother-in-law!

Gone are the days of trips to ladies’ loo for parents’ room is the only option.
Shops, toilet and public transport should all be pram friendly!

Gone are the days of splurging for pricey clothes and shoes.
Baby David needs new clothes, new shoes, new stuff - more than I do. He grows fast and goes through clothes really fast.

Gone are the days of long hours at work.
A mother is always excited to rush home and see her bundle of joy.

Gone are the days of long and polished nails.
Gotta leave my baby’s skin unscathed!

Gone are the days of wearing hoops, bling-blings and bangles.
The precious jewels should stay in their ever reliable sanctuary until Baby David no longer sees them as toys.

Gone are the days of not tying my locks up.
What’s with hair that babies like to pull them?

Gone are the days of donning neat and unstained clothes all the time.
Milk spills, spits and possets form google map on my day attire!

Gone are the days of high-heeled stilettos.
With Baby David clinging on to me, running around in heels is a big no-no.

Gone are the days of TV and radio in high volume.
Life’s gonna be full of shhhhh, shhhhh and shhhhh.

Gone are the days of uninterrupted sleep and afternoon naps.
I foresee several years of no good night's sleep.

Gone are the days of going solo.
From the bedroom to the bathroom or kitchen Baby David must always come with me.

Gone are the days of real “sickie”.
The truth is when I am sick I am not sick. But when baby is, I am!

Gone are the days of frequent general cleaning of the house.
Baby David not only fills our home with unrivaled bliss but also fills our rubbish bins round-the-clock!

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"The phrase "working mother" is redundant." ~Jane Sellman

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A Mother's Wisdom

A Mother’s Wisdom
Her wisdom was my treasure and will be my son's guiding light...


I once asked my mum why there’s no Children’s Day only Mother’s & Father’s Day.
She said everyday is Children’s Day.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why I can’t have all the toys I desire.
She said not all children are privileged to even have one.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why I had to be in bed before my bedtime.
She said so I would grow fast and big.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why I had to sit until all green leaves on my plate are gone.
She said vegetables will keep me healthy.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why I can’t go biking in a busy street.
She said big cars and trucks are the road masters.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why I should always tell the truth.
She said Someone from above is watching.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why I can’t take someone’s property without permission.
She said stealing is never good.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why brushing teeth after eating is necessary.
She said so my teeth won’t be like hers when I grow up.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why saying "Sorry" and "Thank You" is important.
She said people's feelings should be taken into account in every little thing that we do.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why junk food is a no-no.
She said it is not gonna give me the right energy that I need.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why there is a need to pray to God.
She said like a son to his father, he asks for guidance, protection and blessings.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why I can’t hit my playmate.
She said “do not do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you".
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why I can’t play while eating.
She said the food we eat is a grace from God and must be respected.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why she has ground rules about what behavior is allowed at home.
She said these rules mould me and my siblings to become good individuals.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum why we don’t have a big house and a big car.
She said there are so much in life that matter more than material things.
And as always she is right.

I once asked my mum whom she loves best among me and my siblings.
She said that each of us is special to her in our own way and that noone could replace us.
And as always she is right.

All these I once asked my mum.
And all these are the same lessons I want to teach my son David.


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"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." -- Tenneva Jordan
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My Birthday at the Birthing Room

My Birthday at the Birthing Room

When World War III rages in my belly …

In lieu of birthday party, I organised my labour and postpartum bag.

In lieu of birthday trip, I inched my way to the labour and delivery room.

In lieu of birthday invitation, I was invited in and later sent back home by the midwife.

In lieu of birthday dress, I donned a hospital gown.

In lieu of birthday candles, I had contractions blowing me hard.

In lieu of birthday hymn, I heard my own whimper.

In lieu of birthday presents, I had wires and tubes.

In lieu of birthday flowers, I was hooked up to all machines.

In lieu of birthday balloons, I had my water membranes ruptured.

In lieu of birthday cake, I had pain relievers.

In lieu of birthday card, I was given a gas mask.

In lieu of birthday greetings, I waited for full cervix dilation.

In lieu of birthday treat, I prepared for few deep-breathing techniques.

In lieu of birthday guests, I was surrounded by midwives and nurses and obstetrician.

In lieu of birthday wish, I felt the urge to push.

In lieu of birthday delight, I reached the zenith of labour pains.

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"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body."-- Elizabeth Stone
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What I Expected When I Was Expecting

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What I Expected When I Was Expecting

My countdown to miracle ...

1st Month
In a jiffy.

Like most pregnant women, my first four weeks went by in a jiffy. So running & playing around with friends’ toddlers and impeding change in eating & sleeping habits did happen with no caution that a tiny new being has sojourned inside me. This was, after all, not a planned pregnancy. (Yeah-huh! And that helped assuage my guilt!) It has only been a little over a month since our Europe honeymoon. Was too preoccupied gazing at our wedding photos & video and recounting beautiful memories. Who would have thought I’d be on my way? Well, I probably just did not expect I would be expecting this time soon.

2nd Month
Think pink.

A 5-day miss of my period urged me and my husband to get that home pregnancy test and see for ourselves. The few minutes wait for the line to appear seemed like an eternity for us ... one thousand and one, one thousand and two, one thousand and three ... Alas! It came back p-o-s-i-t-i-v-e! Were we in for a truly, truly pleasant surprise! It felt sooo so! Feeling was indescribable. Albeit I trusted the 99% accurate claim of the product, we immediately scheduled for blood test to confirm the home test that left an indelible “pink line” in my mind. (Pink, pink, pink, think pink!) Again, the few days wait for the result seemed forever. (Must I get used to waiting, I thought, because if I really am pregnant the bun in the oven is 8 more months in the making!) Then the wait was over ... the findings handed to us was overwhelming and overpowering. We’re having a baby! In the next couple of months, we’re in for a beautiful joyride. Thank heavens!

3rd Month
Kid under construction.

Now the news has finally sunk in. I am no longer a baby (at least in my partner’s eyes) – I now am having a baby. So anxieties and fears have started to creep within me. Having a kid under construction and more than 3000 miles away from our families was a hurdle that initially put me in panic mode. Who do I turn to for serious (and silly) pregnancy questions? I was in a journey with a little bit of this and that as my armour. As this was my first pregnancy, I was equipped with zilch knowledge on prenatal care. Having no other option, I braced myself physically and intellectually with the guide of the book What To Expect When You Are Expecting. Beyond doubt, it is a mother’s reassuring words and a doctor’s expert advice carefully and completely scribbled down in 500 pages. And then of course I started regularly seeking for an obstetrician’s counsel. But it was not enough. I renewed my faith and filled my days with prayers. Have my heart and soul been empty with His words, feeding my mind with wisdom would be futile.

4th Month
New resident.

As my uterus continued to expand to give more room for its new resident – making my condition more and more conspicuous - I made the announcement at work, changed my wardrobe and begun scouting for baby items. Pregnancy news always brings well wishes from peers even strangers. So breaking the news at work was not a daunting task. But realizing I would be on maternity leave without pay was a tad bit depressing. The only good thing about it is that I and my pregnant half have enough time to save for the “rainy days” -- my being pregnant has taught me to be a more optimistic individual. Not being able to squeeze into my small-sized blouses or button my jeans was something I anticipated with excitement. I embarked on a spending spree for a few pieces. However, accepting offers of used maternity clothes and raiding my husband’s closet for oversized T-shirts and running shorts proved to be a more brilliant idea. I also started making a to-buy list for my little godsend. A list I never thought would be longer than my weekly grocery list! Whoa!

5th Month
10 fingers, 10 toes & 1 penis.

Via the ultrasound, learning that everything about our baby is great - the brain, heart, arms and legs brought immense joy in me and my husband. 10 little fingers .. 10 little toes .. and a penis! It’s a boy! Hurray! We were so delighted because in our hearts we both wished for a little man. We wanted our eldest to be a boy who we will raise to be a kind-hearted and God-fearing man. Yet unborn, we have so many dreams for him. From how his playroom will be decorated (tint of reds and blues will coat his walls and bed & cars and trucks and superhero busts will fill his drawers) to how he will call us (the sound of “mama and papa” appeals to us more) to how we will teach and discipline him (a strong faith in God and respect for others are mutually non-negotiable moral values). Now that we know it’s a HE we are to complete one task: The Name Game!

6th Month
Home sweet home.

Giving up a past lifestyle to replace with a healthier one is certainly not something new to expectant mums and dads. Almost always they are more than willing to do that. Anything actually for the baby! As for us, we had to give up more than that. Our spending habits had to be monitored strictly for we decided to move to a bigger home – a home sweet home little bub can call his own. It is our desire to provide our son a home away from the hustle and bustle of city life – where he could enjoy pedaling a bicycle outside or take pleasure in throwing balls with playmates in the neighbourhood or relish time on slides and swings at the park (or a whole gamut of other activities he may plausibly not experience at our old place in his toddlerhood). So when mortgage dues start coming in, we know we have more reasons to be happy.

7th Month
MYOB: Mind your own belly.

I have learned that surviving pregnancy with some semblance of sanity would require a whole lot more than good exercise and good eating habits. Everyone – from in-laws and friends to complete strangers – seems to have a whole litany of advice. Mostly are old wives’ tales that are obviously ridiculous and nonsense. The largely popular one is associating food cravings with how your baby would look like. How can eating apples or cherries make your baby’s cheeks soft and red? And how can longing for grapes cause your baby’s skin to be olive? This only elicits laugh from medical professionals. Also, inevitable comments on how you look and do things can also be offensive and push you to scream foul. Is it really genuine concern? Or plain babble? Whatever. Give them a MYOB look! Never let words ruin your day. In one ear and out the other should go those words and the sickening endless comparison between their pregnancies and yours. Some are just simply annoying. The only way to deal with these is keep a mindset that every pregnancy and every woman is different. What others had experienced or are experiencing may be totally diverse from what you are going through. With this in mind, you are not inviting any added tension to your already tension-filled mind.

8th Month
Open arms.

Pregnancy can really be a jarring experience to someone who focuses on the inconvenience it entails and thinks not of the aftermath. Imagine mornings of nausea (btw, morning sickness is a misnomer – don’t be deceived!) and evenings of breathing difficulty. Imagine days and nights of repeated toilet breaks, nagging backaches, pesky heartburn, serious pelvic pressure, itchy abdomen, hearty appetite – all these together -- who on earth would love to live a life like that? I wouldn’t. But with a picture in mind of the little bundle of joy whom I will be holding and kissing soon – I will welcome pain with open arms.

9th Month
2 becomes 3.

Finally! The waiting will finally be over. As the end of 9 months draws near – I am filled with mixed emotions. Will he look like his father? (I hope so!) Will he recognise my voice? (Other than the sound of my heartbeat and stomach grumblings, my voice soothed him whilst inside.) Will he be comforted by my magic touch? (Or only grams have that?) Such thoughts are always accompanied with a speeding up of my heartbeat. So as I prepare to pack away my maternity clothes and fill an empty room with tiny garments (I wonder how can undersized clothing be so pricey?) and cuddly teddies (though they may appear like scarecrow to newborns) – I also have braced myself for days to become shorter and nights longer. I am more than ready to face my new challenging role when 2 becomes 3 because I know I am not alone, much thanks to my ever-loving husband.

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"If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family." -- Unknown --

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