Should You or Should You Not Tell Kids About Santa?
Can Christmas be fun and magical without Santa Claus?
Many years back I toyed with the thought of how is it like to meet Santa Claus. To have a chat with him and ask him so many things.
1. How far is North Pole from Manila?
2. Do you know Superman? He flies and is in red cape!
1. How far is North Pole from Manila?
2. Do you know Superman? He flies and is in red cape!
3. Do you have kids? Do they get bigger presents?
4. Do you go Christmas shopping too? Who helps you wrap gifts?
5. Can you fit down the chimney?
6. No presents for kids who have been bad, is that true? Is not eating veggies considered bad?
7. Are you rich? Or super rich? Or superduper rich? Or you just do magic?
8. Can I just ask you to make my dad work here and not overseas?
9. How are you able to make it to all houses in one night?
10. Can I keep one of your reindeers? My dog Pampoo needs a companion.
My curious mind had more to ask but he might think I am silly or he might not have more than 10 minutes to spare for a child like me, I thought.
For a few years I wondered about Santa’s whereabouts and his being. All what TV told kids about him was that he is
a white-haired and -bearded fat guy who make children (not the naughty ones) happy by giving Christmas presents. And that he is very known for his jolly laughter Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho.
One or two Christmases after I began snooping about this well-loved man, I finally found the answers to all my questions. Naaah, not from my parents! But from playmates who for no reason at all just wanted to spill the beans. Did it spoil the fun of Christmas? For me, it somehow did! I did not play with them for a week! For a sevenner or younger yes it could somehow spoil the spirit of the holiday. Because it no longer is a mystery! You know when you're trying to solve something like a puzzle or a math brainteaser and when you finally crack it – you lose interest in the subject? Ditto with a toddler. So how should parents prepare for this? Or an even more troubling question – should parents tell their kids outright that this gift-giver is just a myth?
4. Do you go Christmas shopping too? Who helps you wrap gifts?
5. Can you fit down the chimney?
6. No presents for kids who have been bad, is that true? Is not eating veggies considered bad?
7. Are you rich? Or super rich? Or superduper rich? Or you just do magic?
8. Can I just ask you to make my dad work here and not overseas?
9. How are you able to make it to all houses in one night?
10. Can I keep one of your reindeers? My dog Pampoo needs a companion.
My curious mind had more to ask but he might think I am silly or he might not have more than 10 minutes to spare for a child like me, I thought.
For a few years I wondered about Santa’s whereabouts and his being. All what TV told kids about him was that he is
a white-haired and -bearded fat guy who make children (not the naughty ones) happy by giving Christmas presents. And that he is very known for his jolly laughter Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho.One or two Christmases after I began snooping about this well-loved man, I finally found the answers to all my questions. Naaah, not from my parents! But from playmates who for no reason at all just wanted to spill the beans. Did it spoil the fun of Christmas? For me, it somehow did! I did not play with them for a week! For a sevenner or younger yes it could somehow spoil the spirit of the holiday. Because it no longer is a mystery! You know when you're trying to solve something like a puzzle or a math brainteaser and when you finally crack it – you lose interest in the subject? Ditto with a toddler. So how should parents prepare for this? Or an even more troubling question – should parents tell their kids outright that this gift-giver is just a myth?
As a parent or parent-to-be, should you or should you not?
(The pro-Santa me says) Santa Claus is supposedly a magical childhood experience. For some it is believed to enrich the lives of children. That even when years have gone by, the excitement and anticipation of opening his gifts would always be cherished and passed on to the next generation. The joy that the Santa concept brings is extremely rare. Memories of it would linger forever in one's heart.
(The anti-Santa me says) Others think this seemingly enchanting childhood fantasy is in reality cloaked with lies, threats and promises of rewards to control children. Making kids believe that the horizontally challenged man from North Pole really exists may not be regarded as a malicious deception, but it is, nevertheless, a lie. A kid behaves when reminded Santa sees him when he's sleeping and knows when he's awake. And when they discover the truth they experience sadness, regrets and somehow a sense of betrayal.
(The anti-Santa me says) Others think this seemingly enchanting childhood fantasy is in reality cloaked with lies, threats and promises of rewards to control children. Making kids believe that the horizontally challenged man from North Pole really exists may not be regarded as a malicious deception, but it is, nevertheless, a lie. A kid behaves when reminded Santa sees him when he's sleeping and knows when he's awake. And when they discover the truth they experience sadness, regrets and somehow a sense of betrayal.
So I ask again, should you or should you not?
(The pro-Santa me says) Some may have been told that Santa was real just like the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. They are both make-believe but not much fuss has been raised about it. The Easter Bunny tradition encourages children to build brightly colored nests, often out of caps and bonnets,and if the children had been good, the Bunny would lay brightly colored eggs in the nest. Rewarding good deeds has always been an effective tool of rearing a child. Then there is the imaginary concept of the Tooth Fairy who gives a child a gift in exchange for a tooth that has come out. This is also deemed as one of the childhood's greatest pleasures where the little ones leave a tooth under their pillow for the fairy to take or exchange for goods or money while they sleep. It wouldn't hurt to give these young ones some magic to believe in until they get to a certain age, right?
(The anti-Santa me says) The fairy, the rabbit and the red-suited man – if parents lead children to believe they are real and later debunk their existence, do you think kids would still believe them about the story of Jesus? There is a sensitive issue of trust that could possibly be kaput here. The boy who cried wolf - do I need to elaborate?
(The anti-Santa me says) The fairy, the rabbit and the red-suited man – if parents lead children to believe they are real and later debunk their existence, do you think kids would still believe them about the story of Jesus? There is a sensitive issue of trust that could possibly be kaput here. The boy who cried wolf - do I need to elaborate?
Honestly, I am torn between recreating my beautiful childhood fantasy about Santa Claus for my son's happiness and telling him upfront that it is just all myth. A child’s trust and happiness is at stake. Each child is different. A neighbor's toddler may not suffer the disillusionment that others have with the Santa myth. But he may be set up for disappointment and self-doubt seeing his buddy got flashy transformers that he also wanted that is why he tried to be a good boy. How can this be avoided? At this point, I am clueless. My husband and I still have ample time to make a decision on this matter until our 11-month old David learns how to say the word "Santa".What about you, should you or should you not?
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The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.-Unknown
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8 comments:
Good Question my friend.
A very spiritual and legalistic minded person will argue about santa. for me anything we teach our child are for them a pattern which they may or may not follow when they reach an age where they want to decide for themselves. As good parents and Christian we teach them the way they should go in the truth that we know which is the biblical way. Along with teaching is a prayer that when they mature they may find truth themselves and cling on it. But their will even God will not control. So for me if Journey(my smart girl)enjoys Santa I will not deprive her of that but will guide her to the truth which she can later decide for herself. After all I once believe in Santa as a kid, my parents did not teach me about the truth of Santa but God made a way for me to find the truth. And yet still neither I am a fanatic of Santa or against it :)
a resounding NO.
Let children enjoy their xmas with enchanting and magical personas like Santa & the tooth fairy.
Let them have fun. It is not really a question of lies and deceit, it really revolves in the spirit of christmas being enjoyed while they are young.
Let children be children and let adults be adults.
coincidentally, I have read an internet article where a preschool teacher told her students that santa died and wont be able to deliver the gifts this christmas. The parents, naturally, were furious. Im not privy to the case but it has already reached the courts, the school and the teacher being sued by the parents for emotional damages.
so those who are thinking of spoiling the children's christmas with Santa. YOu have been forewarned.
tito bong
i knew about him - the whole story and got the gifts. but my parents didn't really do a song and dance about him. but even before i got too curious about him i caught my parents 'planting' my gift. i wasn't disappointed about the lie. i was actually feeling triumphant that i caught them out and promptly told my brothers (and everyone who would listen). my parents didn't deny it.
but still, Christmas remained magical for me. i get gifts from relatives. there's lots of food. and family gatherings. and the more frequent family outings - to eat out, to see the street lights along Roxas Boulevard, to watch the show at the COD in Cubao, to see Holiday on Ice at the Araneta Center, the simbang gabi. And everybody is just in a festive mood. And of course, the Christmas tree, the parols, and all the streets and houses alit with twinkling lights.
so for me, it all boils down to what your personal experiences are and how you wanted to recreate the good stuff for your kids. i won't go into the religious aspects of it as this is all about having fun and creating experiences. so yes, i would go the route my parents took. let your kids experience Santa. and let them find out the truth themselves. but not to use him as a disciplining tool so the kids would not take it out against you when they realised they've been taken for a ride.
Like you, I had a dilemma this year. It's a tough time. Should I spill the beans or not?
We usually get several expensive/ "big" gifts from "Santa" for the girls and 2-3 practical gifts from us (hubby & myself) every Christmas and we wait til Christmas morning to open presents coz we start with the girls reading their letters from Santa and opening his gifts.
Of course they always look forward to opening the gifts from SC which are actually taken out from their Santa wish list and reading his letters telling them why he's so proud of them, why he picked these particular gifts from their lists and what it takes for them to stay on his nice list.
This year I thought I can't do this stressful Santa play anymore... trying to hide the gifts in the garage & having to write Santa letters to them... huh!
Maybe it's about time coz my daughters are 10 & 12... do they really not know yet? I was hoping to get a sign before Christmas.
I really don't want to blow this for them.
Christmas morning comes and my 12 year old was so excited to find out that she got her "Twilight" books and she looks up to me and says "Thank You"... I was shocked ,I smiled and mouthed sssh! What a relief... my other daughter was oblivious coz she was still busy opening gifts. I asked my 12 year old not to spoil it for her sis.
I thought "hopefully this year we'll let the cat out of the bag".
I found out before NYE that my 10 y/o knows. Praise God! I was just speechless when she asked "Mom, why did you have to lie to us about Santa?"... oh well...
I firmly believe that believing in Santa Claus made their Christmases more joyful... more special... more exciting... (not to mention more expensive.... LOL) After all, it only comes once a year.
I would do it all over again if given a chance.
Hi Joy! Thanks for a beautiful insight. I have always admired the way you view things. As a Mum, I do want my kid and kids-to-be to have a faith that is anchored on their relationship with God and not on me or any mystical/magical figures they believe in. So when Jonathan and I decide to recreate the Santa experience for them they won’t get shattered easily when they find out it’s a fallacy. They won’t start questioning Jesus’ existence and our honesty to them. :-) Ciao, pAm
Hello Bong! Here’s a resounding applause for you (clap-clap-clap). You have a point “let children be children and let adults be adults”. I like that phrase! :-) Ciao, pAm
Hi there Ana! I have thought about that quite a few times: “Let them find out the truth themselves”. In that way we, parents, avoid fabricating more and more stories abut Santa. Remember, for every question kids ask there would be more fantasy lies to keep the myth alive just a little longer. :-) Ciao, pAm
Hello Maria! I am deeply touched with the sharing you made. Thanks for me and my readers realise Christmas with Santa Clause can possibly be more joyful, more special and more exciting. But hey wait, can you let us know your response to your tenner? :-) Ciao, pAm
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